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"Having an orgasm at least 3 times a week reduces your likelihood of dying from heart disease by 50%.”
Someone, quick, help save my life.
[police officer] “sir are you in possession of any illegal drugs”
“sure thing son whatchu need”
just a small town girl. Living in a racist, insensitive, sexist, homophobic world,
(cant take the midnight train ‘cause im fuckin scared)
my talents include being able to sit on the toilet for 30 minutes being distracted by my phone
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